By: Melanie Huggard
When life is hard, and you don’t know what TO DO, sometimes you can decide what you WON’T DO.
This came to me after a really hard conversation with someone I love. I became aware of helplessness sweeping over my mind. So I prayed to God asking Him what I should do. What came to me, wasn’t a direction on what to do, but a resolve of what I won’t do. The following list burst out of my mouth declaiming what my heart already knew!
1. I won’t give up. Not giving up seems so cliché until you are facing the possibility of giving up and it’s subsequent results. For me in this moment, I knew I wasn’t alone, and that I could choose to hold strong and believe toward a better end, or I could give up and believe it to be hopeless. I chose to hold strong, for God was with me.
2. I won’t let failure define me as a person. I learned from a very powerful woman that when failure comes, it’s actually an opportunity to love myself. Failure is an event, a moment, not the narrative of who I am. When do we need love the most? Is it when we are doing great, or when we are feeling defeated?
3. I won’t blame God. Not blaming God and trusting Him has added life to me in a very real way. I have removed blame from my tool belt and I find that I have a lot more peace. I am not wasting time searching and looking for the “why’s” so I can hold someone responsible, even if that someone is me. I simply look and search for Jesus and keep my focus there. Since doing this, I have built up my faith, my peace and I find forgiveness is more easily given and received.
4. I won’t isolate myself and hide. When we feel a struggle with another in marriage, friendship, or business, our “go to” protection can be to pull back from them until it feels safe again. We can also use this as a way to punish them; withholding connection, communication, or affection. None of these tactics serve relationships well. It is in the midst of struggles; where being honest, present, available, and responsive brings answers to the surface. The best part is, you don’t have to do it alone if you don’t want to. When you can’t do this in a troubled relationship, then pull on others during your time of need. Loneliness, isolation and hiding are not your friends. You were made to be known.
5. I won’t stop love from touching me and affecting me. It takes courage to put yourself out there to be loved, and much the more when you have been rejected or hurt. But the payoff is so worth it. When we are doing well and love comes, it’s celebratory. When we aren’t doing well and love comes it’s restorative, and healing; a reminder of who we really are.