This morning I asked myself, what major lie am I believing that’s holding me back? For me, God is a big part of my life and journey, so I asked him. As I listened and pondered, it came to me that perhaps my biggest lie is that I’m not good enough.
Interestingly, my mind doesn’t believe this lie. My mind knows the truth that I’m good enough and I live each day believing I can do anything I set out to accomplish.
My mind is smart, it’s analytical, it can figure things out; it knows the truth. But there’s a part of me that doesn’t know this truth. It’s a part somewhere deep down in the very essence of my being; a place that feels this lie deeply. I’m not good enough so no one applauded me when I first learned something new. I’m not good enough so my dad felt he could lash out at me in anger. I’m not good enough so it didn’t seem important to feed me, care for me or loved me unconditionally. I’m not good enough so my dad could leave me and my family without as much as a glance backward. I’m not good enough so my mom could intentionally ignore me while lavishing attention on my brother. I’m not good enough so others could abuse me. I’m not good enough so I would have to live up to the high expectations of others in order to receive any kind of recognition or acknowledgment.
Realizing the lie, I go back to God and ask him what the truth is. I’ve never been all that good at hearing God speak to me in words, but that doesn’t mean I don’t hear him. Sometimes he speaks to me with a picture, sometimes he gives me an internal understanding and once in awhile a word or two come into my mind.
Today, after I asked the question, I had a sense. A sense that I am accepted. A sense that God and his angels are dancing in joy when they see me. A sense that I am his daughter, dearly loved. This all spoke healing truth to that deep inner place inside of me and made me smile the kind of smile that only true healing can bring.
What about you? What thoughts could be holding you back? What lies are you still believing? What truths does God want to share with you?