“You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.” ~Brene Brown
So much of my life was spent trying over and over again to prove to others I was worthy of their love, time, and attention. I realized after much cost, wasted energy, and heartache that standing within my own story and accepting myself was the greatest gift I could ever give to myself and in return to others.
Over this past year, I have had the sacred honor of mentoring in RBI’s Elevate Academy. I have to say I longed, my whole life, to encourage and make a difference in the lives around me. Through this opportunity, each student has touched my life and deeply inspired my life in unexpected and amazing ways.
Psalm 42: 7 I hear the roar of the water coming from deep within the earth. It shouts to the water below as it tumbles down the waterfall. God, your waves come one after another, crashing all around and over me.8 By day the Lord shows his faithful love, and at night I have a song for him—a prayer for the God of my life.
Here is my wisdom on living in your full potential.
Steer clear of comparing.
You ARE already worthy of love, success, joy, and so much more. I think we can get lost in a game of comparison and get all turned around when we come into this survivor community. Each of you is unique in your personality, strengths, weaknesses, gifts, talents, calling, and wisdom. So many times we want so badly to belong that we sacrifice our dreams for others in order to fit in. We allow the current and chaos of what everyone else is doing to pull us downstream instead of putting in the work to discover what the dream of our own heart is. Stop. Now, take some time to unplug, get away right where you are, and ask yourself, “What am I truly passionate about?” AND then listen for the answers. It may take a few days or a few months to find out and that is ok! I repeat that is ok. It is crucial to shut out all the noise, and yes sometimes it is just noise, and do the soul-searching to uncover what has been buried deep within the recesses of your heart. It will take time- be patient with you.
Self-love is critical.
A quote by Rena Rose that has stuck in my heart and made such a huge difference, “Love yourself so much that when someone treats you wrong you recognize it.” Talk about powerful. It was a game changer for me. I had unknowingly been teaching others how to treat me. I needed to relearn some things by going on the journey of loving myself. This included setting healthy boundaries, writing out my self-care plan, and listening to my heart. Listen dear one, no matter how desperately we long to help others we cannot pour from an empty cup or give what we do not have in our possession. A self-care plan is probably the most important thing we can have. It is imperative that we are able to have some tools to help us when we are triggered, struggling, or working with others.You should be a priority in your life.
Creating and implementing a plan of care is part of ensuring that you are a priority.
Just a few examples might be:
- Check in with yourself often by taking your temperature at varying times throughout the day. My temperature gauge is H.A.L.T (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired)
- Take a break to breathe. Embrace the silence by having some quiet time in your day.
- Ask for help by getting an accountability partner. Find someone, or a few someones, whose life reflects inspiration, commitment, and dedication and see if they would be willing to help keep you moving in the direction of the vision of your life.
- Color. I have found great joy and relaxation in picking up a coloring book (they have a variety for adults now) and sitting down to color.
- Do something fun by discovering your adventurous side. Try something outside your comfort zone. For me it has looked like backpacking, aerial yoga, and soon paddle boarding. Think about the things you would like to try. Some suggestions include a cooking class, painting, or something else. The choices are limitless.
There are so many healthy ways to take care of yourself, find what works for you.
Change your lens about FEAR.
Fear is a normal emotion and one that we need to have—I am not talking about the gut instinct that keeps us safe. The kind of fear I am referring to is the kind that can cause us to shrink back from something really amazing or keep us from deeper healing that brings our breakthrough. After I check my fear I ask myself can I Face Everything And Rise? Now I know that everything is a broad term so I am not saying we need to overwhelm ourselves, just check in and see if it is something that when you face it may bring opportunity or breakthrough. Allow God’s perfect love to cast out the fear that traps and limits us. His love is amazing and able to do things we think are impossible.
We must have balance in our lives. We hear all the time about balanced meals, but balance should apply to our daily life. We have to have equal parts God, family, self, work, and outside activities. Think of a see-saw analogy we need to assess our life regularly and adjust accordingly.
I know sometimes we can think, “Will I ever get there?” The answer complex and varies depending upon the effort each person is willing to put into their journey. So many times we want what someone else has but we have no idea the journey that person has gone on to get there. You can get there but it will take time and investing in yourself. You are so worth it! Again, our worthiness isn’t contingent upon the outer but the inward. You are worthy, you are enough, you are strong, you are able, you are smart, you are resilient, and you are still here! You have your own journey, dreams, and purpose to accomplish. Do not let what others are striving for distract you from your God-given purpose. Your success. Your sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. Your dreams. They will only come when you stand in your truth and embrace where you came from, where you are, and where you are going.
“It doesn’t matter who you used to be it only matters who you decide to be today. You are not your mistakes. You are not your mishaps. You are not your past. You are not your wounds. You can decide differently TODAY and at every moment. Remember that. You are offered a new opportunity with each breath to think, chose, decide, and act differently in a way that supports you in being all that you are capable of being. You are not less than. You are enough. Now! Love yourself!” ~Unknown
Angie is a mentor for Elevate Academy, Speaker, Consultant, and Survivor Leader. She is the women’s ministry coordinator and small group leader in her church. She loves being outdoors in the sunshine hiking, exploring, and going on new adventures. When not working you can find her nestled with her family in the hills of West Virginia.